![]() ![]() I love to tell stories and in HR there are lots to tell, but sometimes people don’t always want to hear my stories. There are also times when we ask a question and immediately, without taking a breath, explain why we are asking the question. What this does is breaks someone’s concentration when they are trying to think through their response. Sometimes when we ask a question if the person doesn’t respond immediately we begin to fill in the silence with jibber jabber. This falls under that awkward silence piece. It is important to recognize these moments and pull back your comments as they will do nothing to better your conversation. Sometimes when someone inadvertently touches those wounds we want to respond from a place of pain, jealousy or insecurity. We all have baggage and wounds on our soul. This masterfully showcases the difference between sharing information and bragging. I love the skit on Saturday Night Live with Penelope who tries to one up everyone she converses with. We all like to share and we like to share good news, but there is clear difference between bragging and sharing. ![]() Simply ask someone to table this discussion for a later time or refrain from commenting until you have time to think on a matter. At the end of the day we have to own our behavior and regardless of what we are going through it is never acceptable to allow our mood to override our better judgment. Typically if we are in a compromised emotional state, our perspective is skewed and we aren’t looking at things rationally. If you don’t have anything useful to say, it is best to say nothing at all. What happens is we start to ramble or end up saying something we regret. Silence is awkward and most of us don’t like feeling awkward, so we begin to talk to avoid that. If you feel the need to weigh in without facts, make sure to clarify that this is your opinion or feeling about something. It is better to saying nothing at all than to begin to spout off as if you know what you are taking about. People know when you are full of bunk, even if they don’t confront you with it. ![]() My mom used to say, "better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you are stupid than open it and remove all doubt". When you don’t know what you are talking about.Better to regret not saying something for a short period, than to regret what you said for a lifetime. When engaged in this type of exchange it is best to just stay out of someone’s way as the situation is bound to spiral downward. If you are in an argument/discussion with someone who refuses to see your side, entertain alternative perspectives or begins to manipulate the conversation to shift your focus off the topic at hand, it is best to stop talking to avoid causing any more damage. I love the saying, "do you want to be right or do you want to do _ (fill in the blank)?" When you are plugged into your end goal and stay focused on that, you are less likely to give into the impulse to speak. When you understand your end goal and stay focused on that, it can help redirect your instinct to speak your mind – especially if it will interfere with your ability to meet your end goal. When you are looking to achieve a goal, develop good relationships, encourage others or build trust, sometimes it is best to remain silent. Because I was always looking for tools and examples on how to keep my mouth shut I became a diligent observer of those experts and learned some of the best leaders were the ones who excelled in the art of keeping their mouth shut and speaking up at the right times.īased on my observations I came up with the following 11 tips to help my fellow outspoken strugglers master the art of keeping their mouth shut: Because my nature was to be outspoken, I had to mindfully practice keeping my mouth shut – which has proven to be no easy task.Īs I entered the working world, I soon discovered that there is a delicate balance between speaking up and keeping quiet and some people had mastered the art of knowing when, why and how to do this. This was something that did not always serve me well. For some reason I was born hardwired to speak my mind. As a child I had a hard time keeping my mouth shut. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Details
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |